by Dan Cooper

To the tune of:

I was living life my way, mostly without a care
When arose the sweet smell of forgiveness; their message came out of nowhere
But then it became a bit heated; the pressure started to rise
My heart grew heavy and my mind got hazy; I thought I had to appease these guys

There he stood in the doorway; he had everyone under a spell
Saying this was the sure way to Heaven, but there were signs that it might lead to Hell
Like we were all little candles, but it was his Light that pointed the way
There were voices down each corridor; I thought I heard them say...

Welcome to the COBU Catatonia; such miserable faces, but grace is the new basis
They're laughing at doom in the COBU Catatonia
Any voice they hear--you can smell the fear

Now she's been fiendishly twisted; for what's right she never takes a stand
She knows a lot of pretty messed-up boys, who never take her by the hand
But they dance when he pipes to them, toiling in a summer sweat
Tortured as they remember, what they long to forget

We all called on our captain,"Please bring back the good wine.
For we haven't had the Spirit here since nineteen seventy-nine."
And still those voices are calling to us, no matter how far away
They wake you up in the middle of the night, just to hear them say...

There's no escaping the COBU Catatonia
We ask for just a little peace; Oh Stewie, won't you please
We'll never live it down, it's the COBU Catatonia
He promised us a nice surprise, but gave us only alibis

Evil visions on the ceiling; and angels dancing on ice
Someone said, "You're all prisoners here, of this man's device!"
And in the master's chambers--now there's a hell of a feast!
With spare zeal we could've had our own wives, but then we'd've had to divorce the beast

Last good thing I remember, when I got the nerve to walk out the door
A rush of relief and excitement, to find that joy I had before
"Relax, " said the loft guard. "We are programmed to receive.
You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave! "